How to Understand Reciprocity

Reciprocity underlies any transaction in the marketplace.  It helps us understand the basics of what it is that makes an exchange fair.

The Exchange

Let’s start by thinking about an exchange.  Let’s say I have £100.  I will generally be willing to exchange the £100 for something that is worth more than £100 to me.  If you have the thing I want, we will have a deal so long as the thing is worth less to you than £100.

If that happens, both parties benefit from the exchange.  Buyer’s remorse is where the customer has regrets because they are not convinced of the value of their purchase.  The vendor can do a lot to counter remorse but that’s another story.

Note though, fair exchange is something we can do a lot to realise.   But let’s focus on what upsets the balance, eg someone who gives so much the recipient gives up trying to reciprocate.  As a vendor you should aim to deliver what is possible for you given the price you’re charging.

Alternatively, you may find customers who spoil the balance by making unreasonable demands.

So, it is important to describe your offer in writing so you can agree what is in it and what is not available or available at a higher price.

How do You Serve Others?

  1. Have you designed packages for different prices? How do you present them to prospects?
  2. What do you do to reassure your clients so they do not suffer buyer’s remorse?
  3. In what ways do your packages enhance the status of those who buy them?

Reciprocity and Status Roles

The issue at stake is: who is in charge?  There are three options: you are as the vendor, your customer is or else the deal is mutual.  A lot of this is about how it feels but there are things you can do arrive at the deal you want.

Usually, we want a mutual relationship.  To get there you need to remember personal status and ask whether this deal will enhance or maintain it.  You can ask similar questions of your prospect.  Both of you benefit mutually if you see your status enhanced.  Obviously this is a delicate matter for the British (and maybe everyone).  To mention status is likely to stop a deal.  But it is possible to convey status advantages without being blatant.

The big advantage in a mutual relationship, where client and coach enhance each other’s status, is trust grows between them and possibly leads to several exchanges.

Following this twenty-first post to encourage coaches to reflect on relational marketing, take this opportunity to sign up below.  You get a weekly round-up of my posts and a pdf about how to make sure you are charging what your business is worth.  Most weeks you receive an email with helpful news or pointers to how you can tackle these questions.

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About the Author

I've been a community development worker since the early 1980s in Tyneside, Teesside and South Yorkshire. I've also worked nationally for the Methodist Church for eight years supporting community projects through the church's grants programme. These days I am developing an online community development practice combining non-directive consultancy, strategic management, participatory methods and development work online and offline. If you're interested contact me for a free consultation.

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