How to Avoid Unproductive Conversations

The problem is we often discover people we don’t want to talk to once we start the conversation!  So, it’s worth knowing the warning signs and how to avoid unproductive conversations.

During a one-to-one, I know fairly quickly when a prospect is not going to be a good customer for me.  I need clients who are going to do their work; because they commit to making their business work.  If they are time-wasting or convinced I am conning them or unable to sustain a conversation, then they are not good prospects for me.

However, someone who is not suitable for me may still be a genuine prospect for another provider.  Sometimes they need something I don’t offer.  So, I try to help people find the right person if they are not right for me.

False Positives and Negatives

We all make mistakes.  We reject someone who would make a good client or accept someone who turns out much less than ideal.

This is why it helps to know about the people we don’t want to talk to as well as those we do.

It is rare for a conversation to be a total waste of time.  With experience you can identify several possible outcomes to pursue as the conversation proceeds.  Someone who is not suitable as a client may put you in touch with other prospects, or sign up to your email list … You never know how someone may help you.

Some network groups organise 10 minute one-to-ones.  Ten minutes are ample time to assess someone and bow out of the conversation if it is likely to go nowhere.

Some networking systems use even shorter time periods – speed networking can allow just 1 minute.  I find one minute is a little too short.  Whilst I can decline people who are not prospects, I find I tend to seek further one-to-ones with too many others simply because I need longer to assess them.

Overall, don’t worry about false negatives – they are missed opportunities. There are plenty of people out there and the likelihood is you will encounter the same people again.  Fear the false positive – they can be far more destructive.

What to Look For

Some people are obviously not interested.  And some are honest about that.  Maybe check out whether you have any common interests and otherwise part company.

Some are not interested in you as a provider but have some other reason to meet you.  They may have something to sell you or have an hour to kill.  They may be interested in you for other reasons.  Once you work out what they want, decide whether you want to continue the conversation.

The most hazardous contacts are those who may seem to be likely clients but are actually bad news.  Their real nature may take time to emerge.

Some Examples

For example, I’ve had a couple of clients who believed they knew more than I did.  Why they took me on is something of a mystery.  One of them was insecure and forever checking with other providers.  I found she was doing the job she had employed me to do.  The other simply wanted my role and had presumably been overruled by the organisation’s committee.

They were both during my early days in business and I am much more thorough checking my clients understand my offer and know exactly what to expect.

Another species of time waster is the person who takes you on and then disappears.  These days I make it clear they are entering a contract.  We shake on the deal.  This is theatre but it makes it clear they are making a serious commitment.  They can still pull out but I’m wise enough these days to do nothing for them until their money is in the bank.  I send them some preliminary exercises but they pay for my response to their work.  The issue is not giving away my secrets – I don’t really have any – but it is important they don’t waste my time.

Explain the Rules

I have read about coaches who take on board someone who at some stage tries to make trouble.  You need to be clear about the ground rules.  Explain exactly when you will meet and how you can be contacted between times.  Promise results, not hours and be careful what results you promise.  When coaching, we expect clients to do their work.  I find it easy to respond positively to work produced by clients.

If a client wants you to do something for them, by all means consider it but charge more if you agree!

We can all live without the client from hell.  If they become impossible, refund them and tell them to piss off (in the friendliest of language!)

If this has been helpful, let me know.  What else would you like to know about this topic?

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About the Author

I've been a community development worker since the early 1980s in Tyneside, Teesside and South Yorkshire. I've also worked nationally for the Methodist Church for eight years supporting community projects through the church's grants programme. These days I am developing an online community development practice combining non-directive consultancy, strategic management, participatory methods and development work online and offline. If you're interested contact me for a free consultation.

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