Perhaps I’m the last person to ask about relationships and work life balance. I’m single and have rarely been in relationships. It’s a lifestyle that suits me and I’ll write about its advantages towards the end of this post.
It is possible though for people who are not in long-term relationships to contribute. Not always of course, because there’s no guarantee that our take on the world is relevant to people who live entirely different lifestyles. But here are a few pointers you may find helpful.
Balancing Your Relationships and Your Work
Self-employment is an attractive option for people with childcare responsibilities. The implications for your business are there are times in the day when you are not available. This is usually early morning (which rules out breakfast meetings) and late afternoons onwards.
As children age, these times become more flexible. Also, as children age, they may be able to co-operate to some degree with your business. So, long as you keep your word, turn up when expected and can explain your absences it may generally work for you, your family and your business.
You are not dependent on the whims of an employer and that can mean you are able to control the times when you are present to your family.
This does depend on co-operation from your spouse and a good routine that includes regular communication is essential.
You need to create space for spontaneous activities and the best way to do this is to schedule them. This may sound bizarre but actually it is what many couples do in practice. If employed, it means certain times are ring-fenced and so your employer determines your spontaneous times. So, why should it be a problem for you to plan the times when you do stuff together, when you’re self-employed?
Real problems can arise when one partner has a demanding job that is resilient to alteration. A manager of a business or organisation may have to be there at certain times. This means the other partner has to fit in as best they can. If one partner is the main bread-winner, the arguments to fit in with their schedule can become over-whelming. Your business may be under your control and so can in theory fit in with your partner’s employer’s requirements but on the other hand the employer’s requirements can overrule yours.
There can be other advantages. If you are building your own business and can rely on income from your partner while you are building it, this can be an opportunity. But even with the partners consent and active support, it is easy to feel beholden to them as the junior partner. This can become frustrating where you know you are good at what you do but need more space to do it.
It is hard to suggest what to do under these circumstances because every family is different. Certainly communicate and explain to your partner, what you need and the extent to which you are encountering barriers to success.
Partners can be towers of strength. Some couples run their business together, combining their strengths in creative ways. This can have its own disadvantages. A couple can be domineering and difficult to negotiate with for other businesses. It can be confusing if it is not clear the person you’re talking to is able to decide. So, agree who makes decisions and how you make it clear, if you do need to consult. For some business people, if you both need to decide, they would rather meet you together and pitch to you together.
Work Life Balance in Isolation
Contrary to popular fantasies, people on their own do not have to be sad losers. There are many advantages to working alone and it can be a good place from which to run a business.
The obvious advantage is you are in charge of your own time. You can make decisions, good and bad, on your own without needing to consult.
If you’re used to living and working on your own, it can work very well. However, be aware you may have difficulties working with business partners or staff if you normally make your own decisions. It is easy to forget the obligations you have to others if you usually make your own decisions.
The big problem for the solo worker is accountability. This may seem odd, given I’ve just explained the freedom the lone worker experiences. However, the issue is accountability to yourself. If you plan a day off work on Friday, do you actually take it? If you’ve promised your partner, you have to run your reason for back-tracking past them. A promise to yourself may be harder to keep.
Accountability is not solely a problem for singles. Everyone has the problem of knowing what they should do and then actually doing it.
So, in my next post, I’ll outline a concept that will help anyone who is self-employed and needs to manage their life as well as their business.
What issues do you encounter as a lone worker?
