Sensitive and Embarrassing Problems
Don’t be fooled by this title, almost any problem can be sensitive or embarrassing. This is not restricted to intimate health issues or severe emotional problems. Perhaps it is best to start by asking what it is that makes for sensitive and embarrassing problems.
When are Problems Sensitive or Embarrassing?
Some things are likely to be sensitive or embarrassing and you must assume they are until you know otherwise. There is variation in how people feel about these things but it is their perception that matters and when they first approach you, assume it is sensitive.
Obviously Sensitive and Embarrassing Problems
I’m Type 2 Diabetic and I don’t hide it because I want people to know about the condition and how to avoid it. I am healthier than I’ve ever been because good health is how to resist a condition that can have a devastating impact in later life.
I am not sensitive about diabetes or embarrassed about it. Yes, I allowed my health to decline to the point where I developed the condition. It was not a deliberate choice; I was not aware of how unhealthy I was.
Whilst I believe it is important to be open about this and help people make lifestyles choices that will not lead to the condition, I appreciate some people will not feel the same way. If I were offering consultancy for lifestyle and diabetes, I would assume this came under the heading of sensitive or embarrassing, even though I don’t find it so.
Potentially Sensitive or Embarrassing Problems
So, let’s take a look at a service that is not normally seen to be sensitive or embarrassing, website design.
The first thing is to note most professionals offer a confidential service. You work on the assumption your prospect or client is not ready to go public. If they are it is their decision, not yours.
You see, website design can be sensitive or embarrassing. I look at dozens of websites and most of them are poorly designed. This is true of businesses and organisations that have a good reputation or a proven track record. They may have traffic because of their reputation but it is unlikely their website convert.
Let’s say your prospect has spent a lot of money on a website that does not convert. This could be sensitive and maybe embarrassing for the person involved. Note too we may not be talking about a lot of money. A £20K website should convert. A web designer charging that amount who does not know how to design a site that converts is dishonest.
A web designer who charges £500 may have some technical expertise but no real understanding of how websites work. If a small organisation has a £1000 marketing budget, £500 is affordable, a massive outlay for the organisation and 99% of the time a complete waste of money.
So, it is bizarrely at this low-end of the market where you’ll find most defensiveness. They will furiously throw back at you not only the money spent but also the hours of work the site has involved, the endless arguments about content and on and on …
What to do About Sensitive and Embarrassing Problems
I’m not saying embarrassment over a website is anywhere near as serious as health issues, family breakdown or many of the obviously potentially embarrassing situations. However, there are always some issues to consider.
Confidentiality
First be clear about confidentiality and stick with it. Ask permission to make anything public about your prospects and clients.
Sensitivity for the Client
Second do find out how sensitive the problem is for the prospect or client. Whilst they will control their own publicity, you need to know the limits they work to. You may sometimes need to challenge these limits but to do that you need to know their view.
I’ve indicated some websites are sensitive and equally some things you would think would be 100% confidential are a part of the story your prospect or client wants to get out there. I heard a story recently from someone with terminal cancer who wanted to talk pubicly about his incontinence because it was a part of the message he wanted to get across. If you were providing a service to this client, you need to hear what he is saying and not assume he’s typical of people in this situation.
Appropriate Tools
Third, consider the best tools to work with a client who has this problem. In some circumstances online meetings might be better than face-to-face meetings, for example.
Your Embarrassment
Fourth, face up to your own sensitivity or embarrassment. It is possible you’ll be more embarrassed by someone’s problem than they are. You really must listen carefully to what they say and not allow your feelings to get in the way of your listening. The fact that you would not make it public, does not mean it is a bad idea. Always remember it is not your problem, unless you make it into your problem.
Equally, you might not feel at all embarrassed by something that is a real challenge for your client. For example, someone may be very embarrassed by mice infesting their house. You might not be too bothered by that problem because you’ve never had it, know how to get rid of it or don’t see it as much of a problem.
But you do need to be careful. If you are a mouse exterminator, you get in and do the job. A customer with high anxiety will simply be more pleased to see you.
But what if you are coaching someone who is experiencing stress and freaking out about the mice? It may be important to deal with the mice (call in the exterminator) but their response to the mice may be the client’s problem. Don’t assume the problem is the first thing that comes to light.
Do you have examples of problems you thought would be embarrassing and weren’t or were more embarrassing than you first thought?