A Taxonomy of Conversations
Today, I introduce a ‘taxonomy of listening’. Perhaps it is more accurate to think of it as a taxonomy of conversations. I’ve adapted it from two books: Adam Kahane’s Solving Tough Problems pages 91 -92 and beyond. Peter M Senge et al in Presence, describe the same taxonomy on pages 74f.
Outline Taxonomy of Conversations
Here is a brief review of their four types of conversation; different ways of paying attention.
- The first type is downloading. This is where we listen from within our own story and so hear only what supports it. This can be a bad habit of highly creative and motivated people where they listen for anything that supports their view. It can be healthy but where the listener listens in this mode only, they can fail to hear other points of view as valid.
- Debating is where we listen from outside, dispassionately weighing evidence. It is a marked improvement on downloading, requiring debaters to think about what they are saying and what the other person is saying. It is a gateway to types three and four because it requires listening to others and marshaling our arguments to meet theirs. The problem is that like downloading it admits of nothing new. This is why so many debates go on for years because neither side can hear what the other is saying.
- Reflection is where we listen from inside and hear ourselves reflexively and others with empathy. It invites the listener to try on the insights of the other person to see if they might work for them. It invites a more subjective understanding of unfamiliar points of view.
- Generative dialogue is where we hear not just ourselves and others but the whole system. We see ourselves within the whole; the role we play for good or ill. This can be highly motivating when people experience it together. This type of conversation can generate something new; an insight that no one person brought with them to the conversation. Everyone leaves with insights that are completely new.
In the next four posts I shall look at these four types of conversation in more detail and their practice online.
What is your experience of these modes of conversation in real life or online?